


Inexorable

by Anath_Tsurugi



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebellion Era - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Anal Sex, Attempts at xenobiology, Dubious Consent, Established Relationship, F/M, Fuck Or Die, Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Masturbation, Metaphysical Sex, Mind Rape, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Pollen, Vaginal Sex, is that how the force works?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-05 07:15:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 20,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15858831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anath_Tsurugi/pseuds/Anath_Tsurugi
Summary: InexorableAdjective1. Unyielding; unalterable2. Not to be persuaded, moved, or affected by prayers or entreaties."...but I want you to know that I trust you. I'm not afraid. I would trust you with my life, Zeb. You must know that." He was half-pleading now. "Nothing in this universe could make me not want you. I love you. I love you," he repeated in a softer voice, wishing so desperately to just reach out and touch his partner.A sound that was caught somewhere between a groan and a pained laugh escaped Zeb's throat at his words. When the Lasat looked up at him again, it was with something dark and crackling in his normally warm, humorous gaze."Are you still gonna want me when I tear you?" the Lasat asked in a defeated voice, gaze haunted and self-loathing. "Are you still gonna love me when I break you?"





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> For those of you wondering where the next chapter of 'The Colder the Winter' is...sorry. I just had to get this one out. Guess with all the UST running rampant in that fic, I just had to do something for the boys. Plus I always seem to feel it's my responsibility to provide sex pollen fic in fandoms that lack it. So hopefully I manage to scratch an itch for some of you. Enjoy.

It was, perhaps in hindsight, not a wise decision to take on an assignment so soon after Saw Gerrera had run off with the younger members of their cell.

While Ezra, Sabine, and Chopper were busy being debriefed over the minutest details of what they'd learned about the rebel extremist, Kanan, Hera, and Zeb had opted to take on a scouting mission that had come up from among the literal databanks' worth of intel Kallus had been able to give the Alliance on Imperial operations. And as the _Ghost_ suddenly found herself three crew members short, and Kallus was in the process of helping train one of the next Fulcrum agents, a young captain named Cassian Andor, he saw it as a good opportunity to immerse the young man in Imperial procedure in a mostly risk-free environment and volunteered them to join up with the Spectres for the run.

The mission was to scope out an abandoned Imperial medical installation in the Sariat asteroid field. Kallus was aware that the installation had been abandoned in a hurry just before the attack on Atollon due to some gravitational fluctuations in the sector. The rushed evacuation would have no doubt left behind a goldmine of intel to be collected on Imperial medical experimentation, not to mention the possibility of forgotten medical supplies just lying there for the taking.

It had started off well, with Hera and Kanan doing sweeps for supplies and for trouble while Cassian's droid, K-2SO, minded the _Ghost._ Kallus, meanwhile, was making headway with teaching Cassian about the procedures for complete system dump whilst avoiding the partial data loss that previous spies had had trouble with.

"Hey, Spectre Seven, think you could spare your protege for a bit?" Kanan's voice sounded over his comlink. "We found a pretty big stash down here and we need a couple extra hands."

"What? You don't want the help of your musclebound Lasat captain?" Kallus asked, throwing a teasing smirk over his shoulder at his furry purple lover, who was lounging casually against the wall. "He's not exactly doing anything at the moment."

The Lasat threw him a toothy grin in response. "Oh, I'm _always_ doin' somethin'. Makin' sure your uptight arse end doesn't get shot."

"You know, I'm fairly certain you _like_ that uptight arse end of mine," the ex-Imperial fired back, not wholly able to help the small cant of his hips.

"Too right, I do. Why do you think I gotta keep on you so hard?"

"Oh, I don't know. You could always stand to keep on me a _little_ harder," he invited, struggling to keep his attention primarily focused on Cassian as the up and coming Fulcrum finished the system dump.

"That a challenge I'm hearin', Captain?" Zeb bit back with a growl.

"Is it, _Captain?_ " he sniped right back. "I wasn't aware you _needed_ a challenge."

"Oh, _stars_. Time and place, you two. Can't we at least keep it a _little_ professional in front of the trainee?" Kanan pleaded with them.

"I am not the younger members of your cell, Spectre One," the younger captain said, his own attention focused coolly on the screen before him, but when he finally disengaged from it, it was with a knowing smirk in Kallus' direction. "Besides, if I couldn't handle their flirting, I wouldn't have stuck with this as long as I have."

"I am done with him up here, though, if you've a use for him," Kallus put in as he took over from Cassian. The young spy nodded once before heading out. Kallus shook his head as he continued to tap away at the terminal he was working at. "I confess, I'm insulted you seem to think I couldn't cover my own backside in an ugly situation."

"You know I don't think anythin' like that. I just like an excuse to watch that backside a little more often. Had enough of pretendin' not to look durin' your Fulcrum days. I can look all I want now."

Kallus found he couldn't much help the small smile that began to tug at the corners of his mouth. Ever since their very first, very passionate, very public kiss in the aftermath of the escape from Atollon, Zeb had been nothing if not a doting and attentive lover. He'd had other lovers before Garazeb Orrelios, but he wasn't used to being so openly adored as he was when he was alone with the Lasat _–_ when they were in public, too, but in the privacy of their bunk, that adoration took on an almost reverent quality. In spite of their constant peril, he couldn't remember when, or even _if_ he'd ever been this happy.

He should've known it couldn't last.

The first sign he had that something was wrong was when the terminal shut down with no warning.

"Wha- I-" he started in confusion, glancing briefly at the other three terminals that occupied the space, only to see them go dark as well.

"Alex? What's happenin'?" Zeb pressed, body tensing up as he moved into a more battle ready stance.

"I don't-"

At that moment, the emergency doors all around the room began to slam shut, as if the station had experienced a hull breach. Zeb made for the last door to try and stop it from closing, but was just a hairsbreadth too slow, the armored door clanging shut in his face.

"Fulcrum, do you copy?" Kallus snapped over the comlink as he pulled back from the terminal.

"...copy, Sp...tre Sev...n..." Cassian's voice came through a sudden screech of static.

"The facility just went into lockdown. Where are you?"

"...ain turbolift...shut dow...but life support's still online," he responded, the last bit finally coming through clear.

"Spectre Seven, what's..." Kanan's garbled voice came over the line.

"Lockdown," he responded simply. "Zeb and I are still in the main data vault. We're sealed in. Where are you?"

"...er storage. It's sealed up completely. Know of any ways to trip the system?"

"We'll have to figure out what caused the lockdown to trigger in the first place. Although," Kallus started as he began to notice a strange scent in the air _–_ something thick and strangely heady, "it could be some sort of gas leak if that scent is anything to go by."

"Right. I'm smelling it, too," Kanan returned, his voice finally coming in clearly. "It's strange. I don't _think I've ever smelt anything like it before..."_

"...but it leaves an almost familiar taste on your tongue," Kallus supplied when the Jedi didn't finish.

"Yeah," Kanan and Zeb agreed almost on the same breath, and when Kallus let his eyes move to lock with the Lasat's, he felt an intense prickle of sensation all along his skin. Completely unbidden, a very vivid memory flared to the surface of his mind – the image of Zeb's head nestled between his legs, tongue running scintillating circles against the muscle of his left thigh.

Kallus gasped sharply as he looked away from Zeb, feeling a faint spark of desire shoot to his groin.

"Karabast," he heard Zeb mutter angrily.

 _Time and place, Alexsandr,_ he scolded himself sternly.

"Well, I'm not sure what you all are smelling, but I've got nothing out of the ordinary on my end," Cassian reported. "I'm trying to see if I can get the doors pried open."

"You won't be able to, so you may as well save your energy," Kallus told the younger rebel. "The system's not without power; it's in lockdown. Everything's magnetically sealed. Nothing we can do from the inside is going to open these doors," he told them as he moved to stand beside Zeb, who had looked ready to pull out his bo-rifle. Normally, it wasn't an issue for him to stand so close to his lover, but with this sudden strange tension he could feel coiling and tightening between them, he was aware of the bristling of each individual fiber of the Lasat's fur. Coupled with the strange scent in the air, he was beginning to notice a heightened version of Zeb's _particular_ sort of musk, blending together to create something rich and new and entirely too _intoxicating._ The former ISB agent found himself trembling as he drew in a shuddering breath.

"Alex..." Zeb began softly, hesitantly, reaching out an unsteady hand to him. Kallus all but flinched away from the touch, already beginning to fear what might happen if that soft, beloved fur were to even brush against his suddenly too-hot skin.

"I- I know," he stuttered out, gazing into the Lasat's eyes to let him know this wasn't just him. "I feel it, too."

"Guys," Kanan's shaky voice came over the comlink once more, "I don't know how to put this, but...something's wrong. It's...we're- _kriff _,__ we're all adults here, I'm just gonna say it. I am- _really_ turned on right now. This...Hera's feeling it, too. I've never..."

"Zeb and I are feeling it, as well," Kallus reported, sparing Kanan the awkwardness of having to explain what they were all feeling. "In all likelihood, it's connected to this strange scent."

"Must be, because I still don't smell anything and I don't feel any different either," Cassian's voice joined in on the conversation once again. "I've been trying to raise K-2, but all I've been getting is static. Outside communications must be jammed."

"But...what could _cause_ this?" Kallus wondered aloud, only marginally concerned with the fact that they appeared to be trapped with no way out. "I've never heard of _any_ sort of drug with- with _this_ effect," he muttered, unable to help glancing at Zeb out of the corner of his eye. The Lasat was very pointedly not looking at him, but the former ISB agent could see the way his ears twitched nervously against his head, which triggered another particularly sharp memory about how that twitch felt against the skin of his neck. Wincing, he looked away from Zeb yet again, only just beginning to grasp how potent a weapon this might actually be. "Although...if anyone could figure out a way to weaponize desire...it _would_ be the Empire."

"Nobody's gonna argue with you on that one," Kanan bit back, but then he was groaning in frustration. "Right, right. Way to be a moron, Jarrus. As the lovely Captain Syndulla has reminded me, I am in fact in possession of a lightsaber. I'm gonna try and cut us out of here."

"That, my dear rebel scum, is a solution I would most assuredly not attempt," an unpleasantly familiar voice sounded in the room as the terminals flickered back to life. Once the image finally settled, they were faced with a visage of equally unpleasant familiarity.

"Pryce," Kallus hissed in disgust.

"That's _Governor_ to you, traitor," Arihnda Pryce snapped at him. "Your continued existence is an affront to this Empire."

"Well, you would know about affronts, wouldn't you."

"Yes, because I was foolish enough to let one of them live. Well, thankfully you will not be a problem for very much longer," she said with a sneer.

"So _Governor,_ " Kanan called pointedly through the open line, "feel up to telling me why it is I shouldn't cut my way out of my problem?"

"Because the facility was set to vent ziridox 9 into the chambers adjacent to those where lifeforms were detected. I doubt even a Jedi could make it very far after even one breath of the stuff," she explained.

"And how do we know you're not bluffing?" Hera's voice suddenly entered the conversation.

"You would take that chance?" the Imperial governor asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Perhaps," Kallus suggested, doing his best to keep his tone even, despite the fact that it felt like his muscles were beginning to vibrate beneath his skin. "That depends on whether it would be better to die quickly...or by whatever means it is you're currently inflicting on us."

At this, Pryce leveled them with a triumphant sneer. "You noticed that, did you? What's it like? Do you feel at the very _edge_ of your control? As if your body is _burning_ with your need? As if you'd do just about _anything_ to slake your _lust?_ "

The governor's monologue was cut short by the sound of Zeb's enraged roar. Kallus leapt back a step when the Lasat moved forward to smash his fist through one of the terminals. "Imperial scum! What the _kriff did you **do**_ _to us!_ "

"Zeb, calm down," Kallus tried to urge him, moving back in to lay a hand on his wrist without thinking. The moment his skin brushed against Zeb's fur, a vein of molten animal _need_ threaded from the point of contact straight down to his cock, pushing him to half hard in little more than a few seconds. The choked gasp that escaped his throat was unlike any sound he'd ever made in his life and when Zeb looked up at him, the look was half dread and half _hunger._

 _"_ Alex..." the Lasat whispered, his voice tinged with a desperation the ex-agent had never heard before. He honestly didn't know if he trembled with fear or want when Zeb traced a single clawed hand up his arm, fingers just a hair above the fabric of his jacket. Then that hand traced the air just next to his cheek and for a single charged moment, it was just the two of them alone in the room – no mission, no danger, no Rebellion, and no Empire – just their love, and the unquenchable _need_ to express it.

"Oh, _stars,_ " Alex exhaled the tiny prayer on a broken breath, feeling his skin an inch from catching fire as he turned his head to kiss the palm of Zeb's much larger hand.

If he hadn't heard the sound himself, he never would've believed it had come from Zeb. The helpless whimper almost seemed to break something inside the hulking warrior, and when Alex lifted his head to look him in the eye, it was to find something...not entirely sentient in his gaze. Something primal and _hungry_ simmered just below the surface, and when Zeb himself became aware of whatever that something was, his wide eyes flooded with fear and he jerked back from the former agent, shaking his head and breathing heavily.

"No," he whispered, unable to pull his gaze away from Alex, no matter how much he _clearly_ wanted to. " _No _.__ "

Logically, he could see the sense in the distance the Lasat had put between them, but that didn't mean the move didn't absolutely _tear_ at something in his beleaguered heart. Forcing himself not to go after his lover, he wrapped his arms tightly around himself, shaking his head as he forced his attention back to Arihnda Pryce.

"What- what is this?" he demanded in as firm a voice as he could manage. "What have you done?"

"As I understand it, the base of this serum is modeled after the work of Dr. Nuvo Vindi. He did exemplary work for the Separatists during the Clone Wars in the fields of airborne dispersal. His work has left the Empire with a great many advances in the fields of chemical and biological warfare. This was a little something he was concocting near the end of his life. I believe the base component is Trigoran neurotoxin."

"So it _will_ kill us, then," Kallus confirmed with a glare.

"Not right away, and not unless you _let_ it, really."

"Let it? What does _that_ mean?" he asked, though he was fairly confident he already knew.

"As you're already aware, the neurotox is potent enough to kill a human if allowed to run its course, but in the mating rituals of the Trigoran themselves, it is nothing more than a mild sedative. It was in the Empire's interest to develop a weapon that was more of the incapacitating sort. Vindi had initially been commissioned to develop something more in line with the neurotox's traditional effect. Don't ask me to fathom why the madman chose to bring that out in the form of an aphrodisiac, but that has proven to be the ultimate effect of the drug. It inspires in the victim an insatiable lust, and the longer those urges are ignored, the worse they will become. Lacking the means of release, many subjects have died from the metabolic shutdown it induces."

"Then...not _letting_ it kill us...means..." Kanan's strained voice came over the comlink.

"Means giving in to your baser instincts, yes," the governor said with a vindictive sneer. "So you _may_ be able to stave off the effects, but the fact remains that you are still breathing the gas, even as we speak, and will continue to breathe it for at least another five hours before the installation's supply runs dry, and by that time we will have reached your location. You will be either dead or driven mad from your attempts to stave off death. And this is all, of course, based upon the effects we know this drug has on _humans._ There is no telling what effect it may have on, say...a Lasat or a Twi'lek," Pryce told them and, if it was possible, the vindictiveness in her expression grew even sharper.

"You _witch _,__ " Kallus snarled at the face on the screen, putting all of his focus into not looking over at his partner when an agonized _purr_ began to sound in his throat.

"It's no less than you deserve, traitor!" she snapped right back. "To die in shame and agony. And if you have fallen so far as to even _think_ like one of them, then you can also die knowing that the suffering of your rebel _friends_ is _your doing!_ "

"What- what are you talking about?" he asked before he could stop himself, feeling a kernel of cold _terror_ blossom among the heat of the neurotoxin's effects.

"Did you believe we did not know what you knew, Kallus?" the woman mocked him. "This was _far_ too rich a catch for those filthy scavengers to ignore. This was a trap for _you,_ Alexsandr. Thrawn was aware of exactly where your _tastes_ ran. What better end for you than to die defiling something you deemed precious with your _own hands?_ Their destruction will be on _you. That_ is your fate. Now, much as I would love to bear witness to your downfall, I have absolutely no taste for _bestiality,_ so I will simply leave you to your fate."

"I will _find you _,__ Arihnda!" he snarled at his former colleague before she could kill the connection. "We will get out of here, I will find you, and for every moment of pain he suffers, I will pay you back tenfold. I will kill you _myself!_ Do you _hear me, Arihnda Pryce!_ "

"First you must get out of there," she reminded him, offering up one final sneer before cutting their connection.

"Damnit, _damnit!_ " Kallus shouted, kicking the terminal in frustration.

"You know, revenge _really_ isn't supposed to be the Jedi way, but you know something else?" Kanan's voice came back on the line. "I am gonna be right there beside you when you kill that kriffing-"

"Kanan, now's not the time," Hera's strained voice came over the open channel. "Alex, can you hear me?"

"I hear you, Hera," he returned softly, staring blankly ahead as his rage drained away, leaving only guilt in its wake.

"This isn't your fault. None of this is your fault. Do you hear me?"

"But...I..." he started without success. Maybe if he focused on his guilt, he could ignore the desperate fire raging in his skin.

"No! We're _all_ at fault here. We should've been more careful. Cassian, are you still with us?" she pressed.

"I'm here," he responded, "but I don't understand why I haven't experienced any of these effects."

"The lift," Kallus responded dully. "It wouldn't be on the atmospheric delivery system like the rest of the compound. You're safe, but you're no less trapped. Any possible escape route will be flooded with the ziridox gas."

"Even so, it looks like you and K-2 might be our only way out of here," Hera told the young Fulcrum agent. "You're going to have to keep trying to raise him. Hopefully, he'll figure out something's wrong before our time runs out."

"Understood, Captain."

"And Cassian? I'll leave our channel open to receive any communications from you, but I'm going to switch to a private channel between the four of us for now. I don't think any of us want you to have to hear...what might happen," she said gently, just as much for their sakes as for the younger rebel's sake. Cassian's response was longer in coming this time, but he did respond.

"Understood...Captain," were the last words they heard from him before Hera switched out the channel.

"Okay. We can get through this. We _can,_ " she told all of them, though the shaking tone of her voice was more telling of her actual thoughts.

"But...Hera-"

"If the next words out of your mouth are anything other than an idea for getting us out of here, I don't want to hear them," Hera scolded him. "Neither your guilt nor your apology are relevant right now. I can't help noticing we haven't heard from Zeb in all of this. How are you holding up up there?" she asked the Lasat.

Zeb's only response was that same anguished _purring_ sound. He'd moved as far away from Kallus as he could get, crouching against the far wall of the data vault, curled in on himself as tightly as he could manage with his large frame. He'd left his bo-rifle lying on the floor between them and it was this, more than anything, that told the ex-Imperial just how out of sorts he was. That weapon was his life.

"He needs you right now, Alex. He needs you to be there for him...to help him get through this," Hera urged him.

"I...I think my being near him is about the _last_ thing Zeb needs right now," he tried to argue, feeling a fresh wave of blistering _need_ move through his body. Could he even contain himself?

" _Go to him,_ Alexsandr!" Hera pleaded with him, her voice sounding on the verge of breaking down.

"I- all right," he conceded, steeling himself against his own imminent break down. "But I'm going to mute the channel a moment. This...it's private."

"I understand," Hera said just before Kallus closed down the open line. He hesitated only a moment before slowly beginning to make his way toward his stricken lover.

"Zeb?" he called out gently to let the Lasat know he was approaching. The absolute last thing he wanted to do right now was come upon Zeb unawares. Even though the former guardsman's only response continued to be that same heartbreaking purring sound, Kallus kept trying. "Garazeb?"

He kept trying right up until he reached the Lasat's side, slowly dropping to his knees beside him as his own body trembled with the strength of his _need_ for the other man. His fur looked _so_ soft... _so_ inviting...if he just reached out for one gentle stroke...just as he always did...

_NO!_

He snatched his hand back before he could allow himself the mercy and the betrayal of that one simple touch. If he allowed that to happen now they would both be lost, and for reasons beyond what he himself could see, Zeb didn't want this to happen.

"Zeb?" he tried again, resting his painfully clenched fist on the floor just those few dangerous centimeters from his love. "Zeb? Zeb...I'm here. _Ni alitha_...my beloved...please...just talk to me."

Zeb shook his head, still not looking up at him. Something in his heart twisted when he saw the way the Lasat's fur twitched with every tremor of his body. His expressive ears were drawn flat against his head in abject misery.

"Zeb, _please_...what can I do? I don't want you to keep suffering like this. Is giving in- really so terrible a solution as all that?" he asked, resisting the urge to reach out and touch him with every fiber of his being.

"'s not that," Zeb finally responded, his strong, steady voice reduced to little more than a whimper. " _I'm_ not the one you should be worried about."

"Then...what is it?" he asked. "I don't understand."

"I think...Lasat and Trigoran are close enough biologically...that this stuff's triggerin' some kind of rut cycle."

"Rut...cycle?" He vaguely recalled the term from xenobiology, but its exact meaning was escaping him in his current state.

"When- Trigoran males mate...they go off crazy. It's like they aren't even sentient anymore. Lasat were that way...a _very_ long time ago. I feel that- comin' on now. It's like...if I let go...if I give in to this now...I'm gonna completely lose control...and if that happens, I- I'm scared I could hurt you," the Lasat confessed, a single hand moving across the small space that separated them to try and grip Kallus' hand before he harshly yanked it back, wrapping his arms even more tightly around himself.

"Me?" Kallus mumbled uncomprehendingly.

"You're human," Zeb whispered in despair as he finally looked up at him. He wasn't crying, but the dread and the heartbreak in his round, luminous eyes were somehow almost _worse_ than tears. "If I was with another Lasat or a Wookiee or a kriffing _Trigoran_ even...they could take anythin' I could do to 'em in a rut madness, but you're _human._ If I go off crazy...if I'm _not_ in control...I could _kill you,_ " he said, the last words nearly choked off by the torment in his voice.

"Zeb... _ni Garazeb_..." he returned softly, desperately, focusing on the pronunciation of the Lasana in order to prevent himself from reaching across to touch his lover _–_ to comfort him in the only way he knew how. Slowly, he lifted his hands up, suddenly seeing them through new eyes.

He wasn't used to thinking of himself as anything less than strong – strong and unbreakable. Ever since graduating top of his class from the Royal Imperial Academy, he had been a model of Imperial strength and discipline. If he wasn't physically strong enough to handle any challenge that came his way, then he would certainly be _smart_ enough. He was untouchable, unconquerable. Even on Bahryn, even facing Thrawn, he had never felt _truly_ helpless.

This...this was different.

This was a fight he couldn't win, an enemy he couldn't defeat, whether by cunning or prowess in battle. He had never considered how easily Zeb's claws and teeth could tear through his flimsy human skin, how simple it would be for that Lasat strength to break his bones and shred each sinew that bound his fragile human frame together. Zeb really could kill him – easily.

Only...he wouldn't.

Zeb had proven time and again that no force in the galaxy could move him to hurt Alex. Not really. Why should this be any different?

"Would it help if I said I don't believe that?" he tried to soothe the Lasat, reaching out to trace a hand through the air just beside his ear. "You wouldn't hurt me, Zeb. You never would."

"You can't know that," Zeb groaned despairingly, flinching away from even the _ghost_ of his touch. "All we know is how this stuff affects humans. _I_ would never hurt you, but _I_ might not have a choice here. If the drug takes over, it wouldn't _be_ me anymore. It'd just be a rut mad _animal_ roarin' to get off in the first thing that moves. I'm _not_ gonna let that happen to you!" he snarled, pounding a fist against the wall. "Not while I have enough control to _stop it _.__ "

"You're not an animal, Garazeb," Alex reassured him, attempting to ease his fraying heart with his voice where his hands could not. "I'm not going to push you into this while you're still afraid for my safety, but I want you to know that I trust you. I'm not afraid. I would trust you with my _life,_ Zeb. You _must_ know that." He was half-pleading now. "Nothing in this universe could make me not want you. I _love_ you. I love you," he repeated in a softer voice, wishing so desperately to just reach out and _touch_ his partner.

A sound that was caught somewhere between a groan and a pained laugh escaped Zeb's throat at his words. When the Lasat looked up at him again, it was with something dark and crackling in his normally warm, humorous gaze.

"Are you still gonna want me when I tear you?" the Lasat asked in a defeated voice, gaze haunted and self-loathing. "Are you still gonna love me when I _break_ you?"

Alex would be lying if he said the former guardsman's words didn't give him pause, but never once did he step back from him. He remained by Zeb's side, offering as much comfort as his mere presence could. "That _won't_ happen," he said in as firm a voice as he could manage, but then his gaze was drawn once more to that small stretch of floor that separated them. "Zeb!" he started in worry.

The floor between them was spotted with blood, and when Alex followed the tiny red droplets to their source, he saw they were coming from Zeb's hands – from where he'd allowed his own claws to pierce his palms. Without thinking, he reached forward to try and take his injured hands in his.

" _NO!_ " the Lasat snarled as he jerked clumsily to his feet, moving away from the former agent as fast as he could. Without looking back at him, he snapped, " _Don't_ touch me! If you- if you touch me...even once...I'm gonna lose it. Your scent's bad enough. I can't take touch, too."

"I'm sorry," he returned in a whisper, guilt briefly strangling his heart. "I wasn't thinking." With his blood pounding through his veins and his nerves firing ceaseless sensation along every inch of his skin, he didn't expect he was long for rational thought himself. He couldn't help the enticing scent he was surely assaulting Zeb's senses with, but he could at least respect the other man's wish for space.

But with the way his skin was prickling with _need_ and with the feel of each droplet of sweat traveling down that too-sensitive skin, he wasn't completely certain how long he could maintain even that.

XxX

"You know, when I- when I said I wanted more alone time, this really wasn't what I had in mind," Kanan joked miserably from his end of the supply corridor. He was sitting cross-legged against the door, attempting to meditate without much success. All he could really seem to focus on was the sound of Hera pacing at her end of the corridor.

"Well, be careful what you wish for, as they say," she returned with a pained, almost angry laugh. "How're they holding up?" she asked, trying to focus on problems other than her own. Sealed in a corridor between two supply caches, they had even less space to work with than the other two Spectres.

"Not- not good," he answered, not even having to try to pick up on the surface thoughts of his two friends. "Kal's guilt-ridden as all get out, Zeb's terrified of losing himself, and they're both aroused as kriff. I...I don't know what to do, Hera," he muttered anxiously, trying to turn his thoughts toward his worry and away from the feel of his painfully hard cock.

"I guess we can be grateful this is happening between two loving, consenting couples," she pointed out. "Can you imagine what might've happened if Sabine and Ezra had been with us on this one?"

"I really don't want to. _Us_ in this situation's bad enough, but to think about it happening to the _kids._.." Kanan couldn't bring himself to finish, shuddering in disgust. Unfortunately, that same shudder reminded him of just how sensitive his skin had become beneath his clothing. A small groan escaped his mouth before he could draw his mind back to even a semblance of stillness.

_There is no emotion. There is peace._

_The Force is everywhere, in everything._

_What_ everywhere? _What_ everything? They _were_ nowhere – locked in an Imperial box and trapped at the center of a dead asteroid. The only flickers of life amongst all the nothingness were from Cassian, from Zeb and Kallus, from himself...and from Hera. And his ability to focus on anything but Hera Syndulla was fast diminishing.

He was only too aware of the heaviness of her breathing, the fury of her pacing, the shattered intensity of her thoughts. He didn't have to ask her what she thought of all this. He already knew. Fewer races in the galaxy were more widely enslaved than the Twi'leks, specifically enslavement of a sexual nature. To have her own bodily autonomy ripped away from her was tearing at something in her soul. And no matter how badly his own body _ached_ for her, he was _not_ going to tear that wound open any further – not unless _she_ willed it.

_There is no ignorance. There is knowledge._

"Hera?" he called out softly, hearing the way her breath caught in her throat at the sound of his voice. "How do you want to handle this? Just say what you want done and I'll do it."

Her pacing had stopped, but he could still hear each shuddering breath that moved past her lips. Involuntarily, his own lips parted, remembering the insistent press of their first kiss. Stars, but he was ready to crawl to her a thousand times over just for the sweet release of even _one_ kiss.

_Down, Jarrus. Keep it together._

_There is no passion. There is serenity._

"Kanan," she began in a small, desperate voice. "I love you. You know that. Right?"

"I know," he returned, his heart thudding painfully in his chest. "I love you, too. I'll do whatever you ask."

"I know you will. So I think we need to try and stay in control as long as we can. If _we_ can stay strong, maybe it will help Zeb and Alex."

"Maybe," he echoed, though with each passing moment he was less and less certain of that.

"I'm not _sure_ how long I can hold out, but I want you to know...in case one of us _does_ succumb...this is nobody's fault. Whatever happens isn't _your fault _,__ " she soothed him, her voice both a balm and a burn. "If the time comes...I trust you. I trust you with every part of myself."

"I- I won't let you down," he vowed, hands reaching down to grip at his knees.

"I think...I'm going to try getting off alone first," she offered up. "See if that helps with anything."

"No harm in trying," he said with a small grunt. Fat lot of good the Code was doing him right now, so he might as well give it a try himself. Breathing deeply for several moments, he did at least make the effort to try and calm his mind before loosening his trousers and slipping a hand into his tight black undershorts to start palming himself.

At first, it was easy enough not to dwell on anything in particular. He was just so overcome by the feel of his fingers against his heated flesh. He tried to keep his thoughts away from Hera and what she must be doing, but the flash of _her_ across his mind brought him to completion in just a few hasty strokes.

The jolt of painful pleasure that fired through his body drew a pathetic whimper from his lips. The pulse of his own seed over his hand left him feeling strangely sullied. Dimly, he was aware of the fact that he was no closer to relief, still fully hard, but that wasn't what occupied his mind just then.

No.

It was the tiny, stilted cry that escaped Hera's mouth as she brought herself to climax.

" _Hera _,__ " he cried out helplessly, reaching out to the intense wave of her pleasure through the Force before he could prevent himself. Completely beyond his own control, he plunged greedily into that roil of pleasure, burrowing so deep in her thoughts he could feel the physical sensations traveling through her body. But almost before he'd even realized what he'd done, he was struck through with a sudden painful spike of memory.

_His master's hand on his arm...pulling him from a pleasant reverie..._

_"Caleb...Caleb Dume...run."_

_The clones aiming to fire...their friends...how could this..._

_" **Padawan!** Run or fight, but **do not** just stand there." _

_Two more go down by his lightsaber, but there are still too many...closing in..._

_"Caleb, we cannot win this battle. You must run."_

_**Master!** _

The memories tangled in upon one another, intertwining _._

_"Mama?"_

_Her baby brother's tiny lekku are never still...but they are still now as Mama holds his wasted body in her arms, sobbing._

_"Oh, Bek...my son...my son! Why my child?"_

_She doesn't see when Papa comes into the room, but he' s there all of a sudden, arms moving around his wife and lifeless son._

_"Hera...come."_

_But she can't. If she goes to them, it will make it all real...and Bek will never call her name again..._

_"Bek?"_

**There is no chaos. There is harmony.**

_The only sound he can hear as he races down the street is the pounding of his own heart in his ears. The distant thunder from the continuing explosions doesn't even register. All he can think of is the sight of his annoying, foolhardy, beloved brothers caught in an explosion..._

_"Stop, Cassian. **Stop!** It's too late. It's already done. You can't help them now." _

_He already knows that...but to admit it to himself is just too painful. To admit to what he's lost...it means he is truly alone in the galaxy._

_" **Don't leave me here by myself!** " _

**There is no death. There is the Force.**

_As the last of his unit goes down with a plasma bolt through her chest, the Lasat slowly turns to look at him, a feral sneer on his face as he raises his bo-rifle to fire._

_The shot never comes, though. The mercenary leaves him suspended between life and death, unable to move an inch in either direction._

_"Feh, just a human," the Lasat snarls in frustration as he slings the weapon onto his back, still unfired. He comes to Kallus and lifts him bodily into the air by his throat. "Still...I hear and obey. The Ashla and the Bogan favor you this night, soldier of the Empire."_

_"Kriff. You. **Monster,** " he growls as defiantly as he's able. _

_The alien shakes his head. "Keep your life. But we can't have people thinking you encountered me and walked away unscathed," he says before delivering a violent swipe across his chest, claws slicing through the fabric of his uniform and ripping his skin open, tearing a scream from his trembling lips._

**No emotion, no ignorance, no passion, no chaos, no death.**

**Yet...**

_He roars in rage and pain as the electrocollar sends a punishing jolt of electricity through his body. When he's nearly at the point of blacking out it finally stops, and he drops to his knees._

_"Nothing but a beast," the slaver says with a cruel sneer. "A mindless animal."_

_"Take this collar off," he demands with a weak snarl. "I'll **show** you a beast." _

_"Oh, no. That's for the buyers to decide. But what will you be?" the human muses as he looks at him through the bars of the cage. "A gladiator? A house pet? Or perhaps some fine Coruscanti with exotic **tastes** might pay for the privilege of that huge prick. You may as well give it up, Lasat. The only way you're getting out of here is in chains." _

With a pained shout, Kanan wrenched himself from the swirl of memory. As he came to, it was to find himself lying on the floor, curled into a ball and gasping for breath.

_What- what in the kriffing **hells** ... _

"Kanan?" Hera's strangled voice came to him from the end of the corridor. "What...what _was_ that?"

"You- you saw it, too?" he whispered in shock.

"Yes."

"Hera! Captain..." Cassian's strained voice suddenly burst over the comm channel. "I just- I saw..."

"Kanan," Kallus' equally strained tone broke in when Cassian didn't finish, "what the _kriff_ just happened?"

" _Everyone..._ saw that?" Kanan forced himself to ask as he slowly drew his body back into a sitting pose.

"Looks that way...love," Hera grunted.

"But- those were Force visions. None of you are Force sensitive. I've only ever- shared visions with Ezra before...or with my master..."

"It's- probably got something to do with you not being in control of yourself," Hera suggested.

The knight was briefly tempted to argue that that was _not_ how the Force worked – but then, what did the Jedi really know about sex and the Force? For all their vaunted teachings, the Jedi Order was completely ignorant on the subject of sexual intercourse. For all he or any other Jedi knew, this was _exactly_ how the Force worked in a case like this.

"You're probably right," he conceded. "But...for me to just _smash_ everyone's memories together like that, it's just...it's even _worse _.__ How can I-"

"Kanan," Hera interrupted him, her voice drawing closer, the height at which it came from telling him she was crawling to him, "I think- we both know there's only one way this can work."

"Hera-"

"This thing...we have to just go with it. We can't force the others to give up what's in their heads. If you focus on me, maybe it will be enough to spare them."

"But...you-"

"There's _nothing_ in my head I mind you seeing...Caleb," she returned softly, not more than half a meter away from him. "Some things- it's probably long past time you saw."

"If- if you're _sure..._ " he started back in a shaky voice. If it came to it...was he really ready for her to see his worst moments?

"I've got ugly things, too," she said gently, clearly anticipating what he would've said. "I trust you. Nothing's going to turn you from me...and nothing could turn me from you."

"All right," he whispered, swallowing heavily as he reached out for the shape of her in his mind. "All right."

She gave some sort of instruction to Kallus over the comlink, but Kanan couldn't really focus on the actual words anymore. Only the sound of her voice, the feel of her against him as he let himself dissolve in his connection to her, no longer resisting the desires of his body but flowing with them.

Maybe they _could_ get through this.

XxX

_Nothing but a beast...a mindless animal..._

_You're not an animal, Garazeb..._

_Are you still gonna love me if I **break** you? _

_Kriff. You. **Monster** ... _

Zeb keened in anger and anguish as he slammed his head against the wall, the shared memories raw and bleeding in his mind. Faintly, he could hear Alex trying to figure out what had happened, but it took a few minutes for him to wake to the words actually being exchanged.

"I think- there's only one way we can make this work," Hera's beleaguered voice finally came through the fog in his brain. "If we keep resisting, it's only going to make things worse. Kanan could end up crushing our minds together and Zeb...he really could tear you to pieces. The longer you delay, the harder it's going to be. Kanan and I are going to...yeah. You need to convince Zeb, Alex."

"But...he...I can't-"

"You _have_ to, Alexsandr. It's the only way. _You_ know who he is inside, underneath everything. He'll do it if _you_ ask him to."

"Hera...Alex... _please _.__ Please don't make me," he begged without looking up at Alex, the voice issuing from his throat small and helpless. He had no doubt that if he looked into his lover's eyes now, he would be lost. Plus the fact that Hera was right. If Alex actually asked him, there would be no way he could refuse. He couldn't refuse Alex anything. "Don't ask me to do this. I'm not- strong enough," he choked out.

A beat of silence followed this, but that quiet was soon filled by the gentle fall of Alex's footsteps – gentle, but resoundant. There was nothing about his Alex he wasn't aware of in this moment – the sound of his breath, the shape of him, the faint _taste_ of him on the air, and the _scent,_ the scent above all else. That thick, heady musk that pulled at all of his senses, running wild through his entire body and telling his hindbrain _exactly_ what Alex wanted him to do to him. Nothing they hadn't done a hundred times, quick, dirty, and _hard_ up against the _Ghost's_ bulkheads...but now...

_Stop it! **Stop it! STOP IT!**_

This _wasn't_ going to happen. He wasn't going to _let_ it, no matter how sweetly and torturously his lover's presence _sang_ in his blood as he knelt beside him once more.

"Whatever does that mean?" Alex asked him, his voice thrumming scintillatingly through every part of the Lasat.

"I can't say no to you. I said I wasn't gonna let this happen- while I had the strength to fight it...and I meant it...but...if you ask me to do this...and somethin' happens that can never... _un_ happen...I'm just- I'm _not strong enough,_ " he struggled to explain, claws penetrating all the deeper into his arms from where he had them wrapped around himself, _desperate_ to keep control of his body.

"Not strong enough for _what?_ " Alex asked him, trying to understand.

"I _can't lose you!_ " he cried out, looking up at his partner before he could stop himself, tears burning at his eyes as they squeezed past his defenses, sliding down his face. It was only the look of shocked amazement on the former Imperial's face that stopped him from touching him, stopping at reaching his hand forward to achingly stroke the air just beside his golden head with blood-stained fingers. "I watched them- kill everyone I love. They're dead now. And now...they're tryin' to kill you, too...and they're usin' _my hands to do it! Ashla alkyrreh!_ " he cried out in anguish, reverting to his mother tongue as he pulled back in on himself. He could half-feel Alex wanting to reach out for him and had no idea if he was relieved or disappointed when he found the strength not to.

"Zeb...oh, Zeb," his lover whispered in comfort and despair.

"If you die...if I lose you...like this...I won't have the strength to keep goin'," he confessed. "Not this time. I'm not strong enough- to live without you."

At his words, Alex gave a shaky, drawn-out sigh. For several moments, all he was aware of was the sound of the ex-agent breathing in and out. When he finally seemed to come to some sort of decision, it was with a small, resolute huff of air.

"I would never abuse my position...to ask something of you you were unwilling to give, but in this case, I think, I am forced to agree with Hera. If we're to have any chance at influencing what happens here, we need to begin now."

Feeling a cold drop of _fear_ travel down his spine, the former guardsman looked up at his love with terrified eyes.

"Alex-"

"I understand your fear, _ni alitha,_ but I also want you to understand mine. I _cannot-_ allow myself to be the cause of your pain...not again. If I think I can help...will you let me try?" he asked, looking into Zeb's eyes with all the love and devotion he'd ever _dared_ to hope this man could feel for him.

" _Ni- ni alitha,_ " he returned in a gruff voice, still unwilling to reach out and take the comfort his lover so freely offered. "I don't- know what might happen."

"I do. We're going to get through this. Together. Just like we do everything else. If you think it might help...I can always bind your wrists."

Zeb let out a pained laugh at that. Really, he should've known. His overachieving ex-Imperial arse of a partner _would_ have binders on hand – just in case. Alex couldn't know what it meant for him – to willingly accept being bound – but if it was for the sake of keeping his love safe, he was more than willing to brave it.

"I'm not sure it will, but I don't see any other way outta this, so we may as well give it a try," he said with as much of a smile as he could manage.

"All right. Take off your vambraces," Alex told him gently before going for his pack.

Zeb tried not to think too hard as he slowly removed the pieces of armor that protected his forearms and hands. He'd known he was shaking even before attempting to remove the armor, but actually handling the interlocking pieces of metal told him just how bad it had gotten. Even though he was far from it, he somehow felt completely naked by the time Alex returned to him with the binders, having already shucked his boots.

"Ready?" the former Imperial asked him.

Zeb nodded. "As I'll ever be," he said, offering up his wrists. Being careful not to let their hands touch at all, Alex gently locked the binders in place.

"They're set to magnetize," Alex explained. "Whichever position you think you'll be most comfortable, get there and they'll be able to lock to the wall."

Nodding again, Zeb moved to a sitting position against the wall, legs spread out before him as he raised his hands above his head. Then, carefully shifting his wrists within the binders, he bent his elbows until his hands were behind his head, locking the binders against the wall with a heavy _clang._

"That doesn't _look_ particularly comfortable, Garazeb," Alex scolded him mildly as he slipped off his officer's jacket, coming forward to kneel between the Lasat's legs.

"'s not about 'bein' comfortable'. It's about my not bein' able to break free when the notion enters my head," he returned seriously. "'Cuz it will."

"I believe you," Alex said as he slowly stripped down to his sleeveless undershirt. "Certainly if my own state of near loss of control is anything to judge by. I think maybe...we had best begin simply," he said, taking a moment to remove Zeb's chest armor before leaning in to press his lips against the Lasat's, finally claiming that kiss they'd both been aching for for what felt like eons.

Zeb immediately found himself straining against his bonds, hands jerking, _desperate_ to reach out and hold his lover. But the binders held, anchoring him to the wall while Alex kissed him. He could feel the ex-Imperial twitching, wanting to move into a familiar position and grind their hips together, but he somehow held himself back from it, shifting instead to mouth at the delicate fur along his jawline.

While Zeb shuddered beneath him, Alex quickly skimmed over the more prominent facial hair at his cheeks and up onto the much more sensitive flesh of his ears. The Lasat gave an uncharacteristically high _cry_ as the slighter male took the tip of one ear in his mouth, sucking intently on the defenseless stretch of skin.

"Unh...Alex...Kal..." he whimpered helplessly, leaning into the other man as best he could. The sensation of Alex's tongue swirling around that smallest part of his anatomy striking a thread of lightning directly to his groin, making him ache all the worse. When the human began to mouth experimentally along the lower edge of his ear, his small noises began to shift into louder groans and _growls._

" _Ze ze, ze ze,_ " Alex breathed into his ear, the whispered Lasana having the opposite effect of calming him. By the time the ex-agent had thoroughly worked over both his ears, Zeb was straining fiercely against his bonds.

Leaving him with a last burning kiss, Alex pulled back from him with a dazed look on his face, amber eyes fever-bright, lips slick and swollen from kissing, and pale skin flushed, throwing the freckles that dotted his face into sharp relief.

"Hngh...Alex... _ni Alexsandr,_ " he groaned low in his own language, already far enough gone that the Basic was beginning to escape him.

Offering him a weak smile through the haze of his lust, Alex reached forward to cup his face in his hand.

"Zeb... _L'ashkerrir an...Garazeb_."

_I love you._

Groaning with want, Zeb unthinkingly raised his feet to make a grab for the human's hips, but Alex had positioned himself carefully enough between his legs that he couldn't maneuver himself well enough to get a grip. All he could really do was lean fiercely into the former agent's touch, rubbing his face along those fingers and working his scent into that skin...

_...that fragile, fragile human skin..._

"Kal..." he exhaled fearfully, briefly laying hold of himself beneath the animal _need. Basic,_ he reminded himself. _Speak **Basic**_. "I...I can't-"

"It's all right," Alex soothed him, running a hand up and down his cheek. "It's all right." Then, with another little smile, he was leaning back to remove the armor on the Lasat's legs, first slipping off the knee guards and then the slender greaves. All of this was done while remaining out of reach of the former guardsman's dexterous feet.

Then the human's hands were at his belt and Zeb stilled briefly, mouth going dry when he heard the click of the thing falling away, granting Alex access to the side zip that would allow him to free the Lasat's straining cock.

Zeb's sigh of relief when Alex's hand closed around him was only too brief. The touch, while glorious, was far from what he really _needed._

"Come on _, Agent._ You can do better," he challenged, rocking his hips into Alex's hold, trying to get a rise out of him.

Alex glanced up at him with a look that said it wasn't working. Half-glaring and half-smirking, his only response before pulling Zeb's prick free was, "Indeed I can."

Then his lips were closing over the swollen head of the Lasat's prick, drawing a guttural _moan_ from deep within his chest. Alex hummed around the length of him as his mouth slid slowly down every ribbed centimeter of flesh. The vibration of it briefly caused Zeb's eyes to roll back into his head.

Once Alex had taken him all the way in, he took only a moment to adjust before setting a rhythm, head moving up and down the Lasat's cock at a punishingly slow pace. Zeb was left trembling with the feel of the other man's tongue and teeth, but it still wasn't the friction that he _craved._

" _Ah_...ka...kara...bast," he panted out, hips snapping weakly up against the ex-Imperial's hold on him.

_Oh, Goddess...oh, Ashla..._

And just as he was about to spill, Alex pulled up off of him, allowing the barbed tip at the head of his cock to catch on his lip as it thrust from its sheath, giving Zeb a perfect view of his own prick pulsing onto his lover's tongue.

Normally, at this point he would soften, get Alex off if he hadn't come already, take the time maybe to cuddle in anticipation of round two. But there was no such relief this time. Mindblowing though the release was, he was no closer to true relief by the end of it. His cock was still fully hard by the time Alex carefully extricated his lip from the barb, leaving behind only a few drops of blood. Zeb shuddered as the barb retracted, leaving him hanging faintly against the wall.

"Ashla...Ashla," he mumbled several times. "Alex...I can't...I need-"

"I know," Alex reassured him once he'd spat the Lasat's cum into his hand, using it to hastily slick down Zeb's cock. "I need it, too. Just- just a moment..." he panted out before pressing a sloppy kiss to Zeb's lips. For a moment, they remained locked together, tongues tangling with one another as if they just might devour each other. When Alex finally managed to pull away from him, he was left with the lingering taste of his own cum on his tongue.

Only dimly aware of his partner's movements, Zeb heard the sound of a small container clicking open. When he managed to focus enough, it was to see Alex slicking his own fingers with oil from yet one more thing he'd pulled from his pack – a small canister of blaster lubricant.

Was it the safest thing to be putting against their skin? No. Was it preferable to Alex attempting to take him completely raw? Infinitely.

Setting the canister aside, Alex got to his feet, leaving Zeb at the perfect height to view everything as he removed first his belt, then his pants, stripping until he was just down to his undershirt and black undershorts. Straining against his bonds, Zeb leaned forward, breathing in the heady, masculine scent coming off him, desperate for even the smallest taste of him.

"Almost there now. _Tef kas'aki maka, ni Garazeb,"_ his lover tried to soothe him as he slid his slicked hand beneath the tight fabric of his undershorts, moving it past the prominent bulge of his cock.

" _Ah_...hngh...Basic," he pleaded in agony, still fighting, reaching for his partner's sex. " _La...L'ashkerrir an...ni alitha..._ but. _..La..._ need- to focus. Just speak Basic." Normally, it was a _massive_ turn on for him when Alex spoke in Lasana, but __more__ turned on was just about the last thing he needed right now.

"Of course. Whatever you need, my Zeb...my Garazeb," he returned, offering him that same weak, besotted smile just before his features tensed, showing Zeb the exact moment he breached himself, preparing his body to take the Lasat's. As he prepared himself, he began to pant feverishly, his breath coming in those short, sharp bursts.

"Alex..." Zeb whispered, half in anguish and half in _need._

Alex never broke eye contact, just continued to smile for him as he braced his free hand against the wall to keep himself from collapsing. " _Ah._..my partner...my love..." he gasped out, repeating his earlier endearments in Basic. And just when Zeb thought he couldn't _help_ but come, he let go one last one.

"My savior."

Then he withdrew his hand with a small whimper, fingers trembling as he pushed the smooth black fabric slowly down his hips, down his legs, and finally off altogether, leaving him bare before the Lasat's hungry gaze.

Zeb couldn't entirely help the way his tongue lolled out over his lips, straining for a taste of that cock that stood out so proudly from the rest of his partner's body. Alex didn't leave him panting for long, though. Stepping out from between his legs to properly straddle his hips, the ex-Imperial slowly lowered himself down upon him, lining his entrance up with the Lasat's still-straining cock.

Despite the tight, heated feel of Alex's body finally closing around him like he needed, the look of pain on the ex-agent's face as he moved slowly down was enough to briefly awaken Zeb to the reality of their situation. Under normal circumstances, he _knew_ he wouldn't have been satisfied with Alex's amount of preparation. So _why in the_ _kriffing hells_ was he _allowing_ this?

"Alex..." he whispered again, in guilt and anguish every moment, wishing desperately to be able to reach out and comfort his lover, even if it was only in the smallest capacity.

"It's all right," Alex soothed again, smiling, despite the clear pain in his eyes. He gave a tiny hiss when Zeb finally slid home, his hips flush against the other man's backside. "It's all right."

"How can you say that?" he demanded in a strangled voice, tears burning at his eyes once more. How could this man just smile and say it was all right when it might never be all right again?

"This isn't- your fault," he said softly, and Zeb knew he was talking about the pain he was in. "I need it- just as badly. We are both to blame. We're in this together," he finished, thankfully not pushing himself, taking the time he needed to properly adjust to the Lasat's girth.

"Please...Alex," he begged while he still had enough presence of mind to do so, "...don't let me hurt you."

"I won't," he returned with a kiss. "I love you."

Then they were in motion and everything else was forgotten.

Zeb had little leverage to help create friction between them, but what little snap he could give with his hips was met with fierce downward thrust from the human in his lap, driving their bodies more tightly together than they'd ever managed before. Zeb's tiny moans were driven to incoherent, animalistic growls, while Alex's firm, controlled voice devolved into wild, impassioned cries, the cacophony occasionally punctuated by an ardent shout of the Lasat's name.

 _"Ah...hngh..._ stars _...Zeb!"_ Alex cried out, the look on his face the picture of abandon as he moved against him.

Zeb could summon neither Basic nor Lasana. All he could manage was to growl out his own pleasure, feeling every tiny motion of his partner's perfect body against his. Ultimately, there was only one word he could drag from his dazed mind.

"Alex... _Alex...Alex!_ "

The moment stretched out between them for a small eternity, but at the same time, seemed to take no time at all. When the human made the mistake of leaning in close to him, arms wrapping around his torso to brace himself, his much smaller fingers were suddenly twining with the Lasat's, gripping them with what little leverage he could manage. That small bit of physical and emotional intimacy was enough to drive the Lasat wild, and with his partner now in range of his teeth, he leaned his head down just that little bit and sank his fangs into the soft, yielding flesh of the human's neck.

His partner's sharp cry of pain and pleasure was the catalyst that drove them both over the edge into orgasm. The human's smaller body clenched tightly around him as he spilled, his seed pulsing and smearing along the front of the Lasat's much too confining battle suit. Zeb himself gave a long howl of triumph as he spent himself inside his lover's body, the feel of his semen bursting into his mate calling to the most primal urges coiled within his DNA.

When it ended and they were tied together, the Lasat held within the human's body by the catch of his barb, they gazed at each other for several long moments, both breathing in shuddering, heavy gasps.

It wasn't over. They both knew that. Despite their best efforts, they were caught in a loop of desperation and desire, but neither could bring himself to care just then. Looking into his partner's eyes, blown wide with pleasure, but still smoky with _need,_ the guardsman felt something inside him come awake.

Intellectually, some distant part of his mind was aware that he couldn't impregnate his mate, no matter his own virility, but the instinct was as ancient as the species itself. It was ingrained, and it was strong, and it _would not_ be denied. The small trickles of blood flowing down the human's neck from his bite called to the deepest parts of the Lasat in a way nothing else ever had. It was _his_ mark. _His!_ And he would leave himself upon every _atom_ of his partner's existence.

" _Nivsahn._ "

_Mine _._ _

His mate nodded slowly, expression far gone, lost in the intensity of the moment between them. Leaning forward, he nuzzled tenderly against the corner of the Lasat's mouth, leaving a kiss there before pulling back.

" _An s'ahn,_ " he agreed formally.

_Yours _._ _

Then his barb retracted, untying them, and that same primal something inside of the Lasat _snapped _.__

With a bestial roar, he tore against the magnetic force holding him to the wall, keeping him from _being_ with his mate. Gasping in shock, his partner pulled off of him, scrambling backwards as the seal broke.

Though he wrenched both shoulders painfully in the process, the guardsman was able to bring both his arms forward, easily breaking the binders that held him, unable even to remember why they'd been there in the first place.

Crawling slowly toward his lover, the Lasat relished the look of amazed _hunger_ in his amber eyes. He wasn't sure when the tie holding his hair back had come undone, but those golden strands were falling into his eyes now, trembling with each burst of breath. And when he was finally close enough, he fell upon the other man, kissing and scenting him with a fervent ardor. The human gripped at the guardsman's strong shoulders weakly, returning kiss for kiss and caress for caress.

And though he'd been warned, though he understood the danger he was in, for the life of him, Alexsandr Kallus could not find it in himself to be afraid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Join us next Friday for the exciting conclusion!


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're back with the conclusion! Hope you all enjoy it. And yes, there will be translations for all the Lasana at the end.

Hera had thought she understood time.

She could grasp the progression of moments, each building upon the others, from the very earliest she could recall all the way to the moment the doors had slammed shut and trapped her and Kanan in this corridor – all of it a series of events that could be analyzed, studied, and understood with enough effort. She'd thought she knew the galaxy and her place in it.

She had _thought_ she knew so much.

She'd thought wrong.

She'd once been certain she could never truly understand what Kanan meant whenever he talked about the Force, but here, in this moment, she thought she maybe _could_ understand just what it was the Jedi saw as his thoughts connected with hers. Time lost meaning for her as he looked into her and she looked into him, the threads of their thoughts connecting, breaking, and reconnecting in infinite variation.

She saw a Jedi youngling on Coruscant, yearning to fight in a war – and how the woman who would become his master had seen something in him, had taken him out into the galaxy and allowed him to find his place in that war.

He saw a little Twi'lek girl born into a war-torn world – how her first and sharpest instincts had been to _fight_ , to protect what she loved most, how she had learned from her father that her family and her people would have nothing if they didn't fight for it.

Each memory was reflected in a touch of skin, a press of lips. She wasn't completely certain when the two of them had come to be naked on the floor of the corridor, but that was a concept of time. It wasn't relevant here.

_Emotion, yet peace._

She saw the terror in the eyes of the padawan when his master was gunned down by the soldiers he'd thought were their friends.

He saw the grief in her heart at her little brother's death, taken by disease, an enemy none of them could fight – saw her despair as her mother succumbed to grief.

Kanan was lying on the cold floor of the supply corridor, supporting her weight, keeping her from the cold. As his hands caressed her hips she pressed several kisses to his sightless eyes. Feeling the swell of him within her as they moved together only served to tighten the coil of her desire within her lekku. Her entire body pulsed with _life_ – with a need for her love to fill the spaces within her that were empty.

_Stars_ , how she loved this man. How she _needed_ him.

_Ignorance, yet knowledge._

She saw how he'd survived – not truly lived. The desperate, disillusioned vagrant he had been down through the years...the things he had done that he was ashamed of...up until the moment their meeting had changed something in him...made him look at himself and see that this wasn't what his master had had in mind for him when she'd given her life for his.

He saw how she'd thrown herself into the cause of rebellion – how she'd put her overwhelming drive into the fight because she'd had nowhere else to place it – nowhere else to vest the infinite amount of caring she was capable of carrying in her heart...not until they'd come together and begun to build a family.

" _Hera,_ " he cried her name softly as he moved in her – like a plea...like a prayer...

"Kanan...C- _Caleb,_ " she whispered the name against his skin with equal adoration and apology. She shouldn't speak that name here, she knew, but she couldn't help it. She wanted him to know how she saw him – the truth of him...how he had changed her.

_Passion, yet serenity._

She saw how protective he became of the little family they'd built – of the lost warrior they'd liberated from slavery, both from the Empire and the chains of his own making...the girl who had broken beneath the weight of the Empire, and whom they had helped piece back together...the lost boy who shared the same spark as her knight, the apprentice he could finally share all his experiences with...and now the ex-Imperial who had lost his way but had never ceased to believe in the basic goodness of all living beings. How he would've almost preferred to turn his back on the galaxy rather than risk their family.

He saw the same love of the little family in her, but also the knowledge that there was only one way to build a better galaxy for the people they loved – how she sometimes became distant, but never because of a lack of caring. It was _because_ she loved so deeply that she fought so hard...for them...for him...all of them.

The brush of her lekku down his sides drew forth a cry of bliss and agony from his lips, causing him to drive himself all the deeper into her, the connection between them even more tightly binding in his struggles to keep it just between them – not to touch any of their friends.

"Hold onto me, love," she encouraged him. "It's just you and me, just us. You're _strong_...so strong."

"Hera..." he sobbed, the snap of his hips becoming all the more frantic. "I can't...h- _help me._ "

"I'm here."

_Chaos, yet harmony._

She saw the guilt he felt, over what he saw as taking her choice away from her, over what he had unintentionally done to her – to Cassian, to Zeb and Alex.

_Can you forgive me?_

_I never blamed you...not once._

And he saw her fear over how this would harm them – what it could do to Zeb and Kallus' young relationship, how it could injure his own heart...but nowhere in there was there concern for herself.

_I'm fine, Caleb. You don't have to worry about me._

_**Someone**_ _has to._

Then their thoughts were bleeding together so fiercely, it was like they were thinking them as one – no delays, no barriers. Just them, twined so tightly together it was difficult to know where one ended and the other began. When they reached completion, it truly was a moment of perfect, absolute union.

_Death, yet the Force._

It was impossible to tell now, which of them lay on the floor and which of them lay on top. Either way, they lay there, breathing hard, exhausted, but still unable to deny the growing _need._ They were far from done, but their physical bodies couldn't likely handle the continued strain.

**We can't keep this up,** they realized. **We might not be able to separate.**

**But...if we don't...the others might be-**

"Captain... _Captain!_ " Cassian's voice started to come through the pleasure and the pain and the heat and the chaos.

For a moment, they glimpsed it – the primal hunger that engulfed the mind of their friend, and the reckless abandon of his lover – the _need_ to be with one another...the single overwhelming imperative.

_Mate...or die._

**Zeb.**

**Alex.**

"Kanan," Hera called out in a hoarse voice, tearing her own thoughts bleeding from the connection. "Something's wrong."

_They need us. We have to help them._

XxX

When Zeb and Alex separated for a much-needed breath of air, Alex was barely clear-headed enough to pull back from the Lasat, to put some space between them, even if it was only a meter or so.

He was on the verge of being completely beyond even his own tight control, he knew. But no matter how badly he wanted his lover to slam him against the nearest hard surface and screw him into oblivion...he had made Zeb a promise. He had to _try_ and keep control. He had to do _something_ to ensure his own safety.

Zeb maintained eye contact with him across the distance, never once breaking it as he violently tore off his battle suit. It took every last ounce of control the ex-ISB agent possessed not to let his eyes move from his partner's – not to look down and let his gaze rove hungrily over the sculpted chest, toned arms, and huge, throbbing sex as if for the first time.

Stars, but he wanted that cock so badly he could hardly think straight. Every moment Zeb was not with him was sheer torture. Why in the kriffing hells was the Lasat not on top of him?!

_Get ahold of yourself, Alexsandr,_ he scolded himself, struggling to control his breathing. _Remember. If he hurts you, he'll never forgive himself. You_ _ **cannot**_ _be the cause of his suffering!_ _ **Never again!**_

"Garazeb?" he called to his lover in as firm a voice as he could manage, hating how it still held a note of pleading. "Do you know me?"

The Lasat gave a particularly deep growl that resonated at the very core of the ex-Imperial's being, reminding him of just how hard he still was. But there was also a note of confusion in the sound, the fur at his neck and shoulders fluffing outward almost reminiscent of a raised eyebrow.

" _Nivsahn_ ," Zeb repeated, the spike of confusion the only thing that seemed to be keeping him from pouncing, and _stars_ how Alex wanted him to, the intimate claim thrumming through his entire being – _control, dammit!_

Alex nodded slowly. " _An s'ahn. An s'ahn, ni ashkerra._ " He supposed he could take it as a comfort, that even though Zeb had lost the use of Basic, he could still understand it enough to know what sort of response had been required. The guardsman had lost sight of himself, of Alex, of the larger galaxy and their roles within it, but he was _not_ so far gone that he'd lost what they were to each other.

_Zeb..._

He'd come to be standing with his back against one of the terminals, and he could've made the tactically smart move and placed it between himself and the Lasat, but that was a lack of trust he couldn't bear to demonstrate, no matter his own peril. Leaning back against the hard surface, he subtly parted his legs in invitation. Stars help him, but he _needed_ this too much.

"You know what I can withstand. I promise you I won't break...my love...I-" he broke off, not really sure what more he could say, or if he was even getting through to the Lasat. What else _could_ he say? Except...

"Zeb...I trust you."

Then, in a fierce blur of motion, Zeb was on him, bending him backwards over the terminal bank. Despite the ferocity of the Lasat's bruising grip, the cry that escaped the ex-Imperial's lips was still one of pleasure, something in him sated to be held so tightly by his lover. It wasn't long before Zeb was littering his neck and chest with tiny kisses and little love bites, almost as if he were attempting to blot out the place on his skin where Gerrera's mercenary had marked him before.

Within moments the undershirt he still wore, the last piece of clothing separating them, was in tatters, the fabric left barely clinging to his shoulders. With a blissful groan, Alex let himself revel in the warm, soft, familiar feel of Zeb's fur rubbing against his skin. Digging his fingers into the velvety softness, it took him no more than a few moments of furious hip-grinding to come again, body curling against the Lasat's with a helpless cry.

Zeb ceased his motions for a moment, glancing own at the sticky mess that now painted both their fronts. Dipping his head to Alex's chest, he took a long lick of the stuff, leaving the ex-agent panting harshly with need, body grinding involuntarily against the guardsman's.

When Zeb raised his head to kiss him deeply, leaving his own bitter taste on his tongue, he pressed his forehead against the Lasat's, inhaling the scent of him like oxygen. Granted, that oxygen was only further fuel for the fire in his skin, but he just couldn't care anymore. His unerring sense of caution had long been thrown to the wind in favor of the feel of _Zeb_ against him. He was circling the whirlpool of a kind of ecstasy and oblivion he'd never known before. The uptight soldier at the back of his mind was completely inaudible over the maelstrom that was _them._ Reaching his hands up to grip the fur just behind Zeb's ears, he held them as tightly together as he possibly could before whispering against his lips, " _Na lithir'a._ "

_Fuck me._

Zeb didn't need to be told twice. Growling out his desire, he pulled back just far enough to hoist Alex up on the console, lining himself up before thrusting harshly into him.

The ex-agent's scream at the penetration had more of pleasure than of pain. It hurt. It hurt _so much._ But it was still a good hurt, a hurt that sharpened every nerve in his body, making them ready to receive greater heights of pleasure. After several hard thrusts, Alex brought his legs up and wrapped them around Zeb's waist, allowing him a better vantage point to drive even deeper. Relishing the prick of the Lasat's claws along his skin, he gave several desperate moans, encouraging every point of contact.

Time, cause and effect – all had become hazy abstracts within the former Imperial's sphere of awareness, but by the time his lover came again, spilling deep inside him, they had lost all meaning for him. The only thing that meant anything to him then was the feel of Zeb within him, the sweet slickness of his seed flowing sinfully down his thighs, the press of the Lasat's strong, yet soft body against his, the catch of Zeb's barb inside him, stimulating him _just so_ and sending him spiraling into a burst of blinding pleasure.

Somewhere in the back of his bliss-hazed mind, it occurred to the ex-agent that it was dangerous for Zeb to attempt to pull out of him at this stage. That nasty little barb that made their lovemaking a hundred times more intense than any lover Alex had previously had also made sex with Zeb that much more dangerous. If he tried to pull out now, with the barb still engaged, he could seriously injure him.

Zeb, however, seemed cognizant enough of that fact not to attempt it. Instead, he gathered the human up in his arms, walking with him still wrapped tightly around his waist to press him up against one of the walls, settling in for a long make out session while they waited for the barb to retract.

Even through his haze of pleasure, he was gradually becoming more aware of Zeb's teeth and claws. His skin was littered with a great deal more bite marks than he'd thought. When he felt the barb retract and Zeb was pounding him against the hard surface once more, he suddenly felt the slice of his claws along his shoulders.

The cry was of pain this time. Pleasure was beginning to devolve into overstimulation. Some distant part of his mind was becoming aware of just how roughly he was being handled, and he could take it, he knew, but only for so long. How long had they been going at it? Ten minutes? An hour? No way to know.

_Might be in trouble here, Alex._

He snarled against Zeb, biting back as best he could, but the effect of his own teeth and nails paled in comparison with the Lasat's fangs and claws. The latest onslaught of his lover's rough tongue against his throat drew a weak cry from him. He clung as tightly to his partner as he was able in his weakening state, unable to pull his focus enough away from Zeb to know what surface he was being fucked against.

"Zeb...Ze- _ah!_ " he cried out in agonized bliss as the Lasat brought him to climax yet again, his focus obliterated by the roiling wave of his orgasm. Slack-jawed, exhausted, and still whimpering from the force of his body peaking, he could do little more than hold on.

" _Ni ashkerra_ ," he moaned painfully, unable to summon much more than the little endearment. "Something's...something's _wrong_."

With that tiny plea, Alex saw something snap awake in his love's eyes once again – recognition...knowledge and terror – and for the life of him, he didn't know which was worse. The pain in his body or the abject _horror_ in Garazeb Orrelios' eyes.

"Alex...Alex... _ **Ashla alkyrreh!**_ " he sobbed in a plea for mercy, his grip on the ex-Imperial only marginally less punishing than it had been. And Alex would've done _anything_ , anything _at all_ , to ease that anguish...

...but the thing was, they literally _couldn't stop._

No matter how fiercely Alex ordered himself to separate from the Lasat, he couldn't bring himself to even try. His body kept at the constant motion, desperately seeking the next height like an addict. He _needed_ Zeb inside him no less desperately than when they'd started. He kept moving against Zeb, drawing him in deeper; and Zeb proved no more capable of restraining himself than Alex had. He kept on with the brutal pace until he reached his next climax with a pained grunt. But when his barb caught inside of him, Alex could feel him wanting to go right on thrusting in and out of him – wanting to just rip the barb free and keep _moving._

"Zeb...please... _don't!_ " he gasped out between breaths, clinging to the Lasat more tightly than he'd thought was physically possible, desperate to keep him still inside him. If this happened _now_...there would be no coming back from it.

Zeb was once again beyond words. The tangled sounds of broken cries and animal groans battled for air as they fell from his mouth. Every moment, they were on the verge of a ruin so hideous it defied comprehension. With every trembling breath and shed tear, Alex half-thought he could actually _hear_ the desperate thoughts chasing through his lover's head.

_Don't. Don't move._

Alex had managed to hold him still, but he wouldn't be able to much longer.

_You'll kill him. You'll kill him. Don't move._

The tiniest of tremors moved through their joined bodies – a whisper of movement.

_Don't you do it._

The barb still hadn't retracted, but his restraint was gone. This was going to happen.

_Don't you kriffing_ _**dare!** _

"Zeb...I'm sorry," he whispered just as he felt the Lasat lose his battle with himself.

**Hold on.**

Then, at the exact moment everything would've shattered beyond hope, a voice reached out to them. Not Kanan, as they might've thought, or at least...not Kanan alone. The soothing voice was somehow a combination of Kanan _and_ Hera, reaching out to them at their lowest moment, just when they might've been beyond saving.

**Don't give up. You're stronger than they are.**

Guided to the gentle presence from the bleak despair in their own hearts, they found the strength to go on clinging to each other, keeping still through every instinct that urged them to _move._

**You will endure. Your love will endure.**

_Love._

For an instant, they both saw it – the moment they had both _known._

For Alex, it was a moment outside the temple on Yavin IV, when Zeb had had Ezra in a headlock and had been fiercely tousling his hair, the fact that he would never hurt the young Jedi quite plain even in the midst of the play-fighting. To have endured so much...and to still have such an infinite capacity for joy and for love...

For Zeb, it was a moment in one of their briefings, when Alex had spoken about his belief that the Alliance was better than Gerrera's extremist tactics, that they absolutely _could not_ stoop to their level – to the _Empire's_ level. He had turned away from the suffering of innocents one time too many, been the _cause_ of it one time too many, to ever turn a blind eye again. He'd been so straightforward, so passionate and so determined to do what was right, it had made Zeb believe in the Rebellion all over again.

_I knew I loved you then._

It was enough. Just enough to keep them in control long enough for the barb to retract. Then they were moving against each other once more and coherent thought became harder and harder to lay hold of.

Pain and pleasure ceased to be separate sensations, cycling in upon one another in an endless loop of desire and despair. Alex no longer had any idea if his tears were from rapture or anguish. The only thing he knew was Zeb, and even that knowledge started to fade from him when the force of one of his lover's thrusts knocked his head sharply against the hard surface he was pinned against. Things began to go quickly after that.

Voices scraped at the edge of his raw awareness...

"...have to get them-"

"...if we don't...won't be able to stop-"

"Captain Orrelios will reach orgasm again in approximately two point four-"

"...separate them!"

Separate?

No...

No! _Never!_

His roar was a match for his lover's in intensity as he clung to the Lasat, determined not to be separated from him.

"He won't _care,_ Kanan! Just _do it!_ "

Then there was the press of something heavy against his mind...

_Sleep, Alex._

...and with that, plus the injury to his head, he was finally able to slip into the cool, dark oblivion of slumber.

XxX

Kallus wasn't sure at first...what it was that woke him from his sleep. All he had was the sense that something was horribly wrong.

His first thought was _attack_ , and the keening, almost wounded sound he heard coming from behind him seemed to confirm that.

_What happened? Where-_

The abandoned facility.

Pryce! The gas!

Hera and Kanan. Cassian.

_Zeb!_

"Zeb!" he shouted as he bolted upright, instantly regretting the hasty movement.

His entire body was racked with pain. There were streaks of partly-dried blood on the blanket that had been covering him and the skin he could see was mottled with bruises and crisscrossed by shallow lacerations. He didn't much _want_ to think about the pain in his backside, so he ignored it, shifting instead to take his weight on his left hip, only _slightly_ less painful. But as bad as it was, the physical pain in his body was _nothing_ compared to the pain that stabbed his heart at the sight of what lay on the diagnostic table next to him.

The _Ghost's_ small infirmary had two diagnostic tables and he'd been laid out on one of them, while Zeb...Zeb had been manacled to the other.

He was still naked as the day he was born, the half-shredded blanket on the floor between the two tables suggesting that a failed attempt had been made to preserve the Lasat's modesty. He was no less hard than he had been when the ex-agent had last been conscious. But worse than all of this were the helpless, pleading groans and growls that issued from the former guardsman's lips.

"Oh...Zeb."

"Good, you're not dead."

Kallus hadn't even noticed Cassian standing on the other side of the diagnostic table until he'd spoken. The younger Fulcrum agent was standing just a few feet back from his lover with his arms crossed over his chest and a grim look on his face. His jacket had been removed since Kallus had last seen him and his face was streaked with grime and dirt, his hair an absolute mess. K-2SO was standing in the back corner, some sort of silent observer to whatever had been happening before Kallus had regained consciousness.

"What...what happened? What's _wrong_ with him?" he pressed, pulling the blanket back up around his battered body. Cassian ran a hand through his hair before answering, plainly exhausted.

"I was able to administer biochems to the three of you when K and I got you out of there, but Captain Orrelios..."

"Nothing we have onboard is safe to give him," Kanan's drained voice entered the conversation when Cassian's fell off. Despite the snarl of pain at the back of his head, Kallus jerked his head back in the direction of the voice.

Kanan and Hera were sitting in a chair covered by a blanket, the Twi'lek resting in the Jedi's arms while her head lay listlessly against his neck. She looked strangely naked without her head gear and he without his mask. Even his hair had come undone at some point.

"We used up the last of our stock after Atollon," Hera joined in weakly, eyes still closed. "It's not all that easy these days...to come by biochems that can safely be administered to a Lasat. Knowledge of most of their medicines has been lost. Most other things out in the galaxy are either too strong or not strong enough. We should be able to synthesize something back at base, but..."

"We will make it no more than seventy-two percent of the way back to Yavin IV before Captain Orrelios goes into metabolic shutdown and dies of heart failure," K-2 explained in an unfailingly calm tone.

"We _don't_ need the numbers, K," Cassian reprimanded.

"I understand."

"I had thought...perhaps...it was simply a matter of inducing his body to work off the excess energy...once he was no longer breathing the gas," Cassian said, a tiny look in his eyes that Kallus knew he would need to talk about later. "It wasn't."

"It wouldn't be," the ex-Imperial supplied as he lowered his feet to the floor, gingerly taking his own weight onto them despite the pain. All the while, he kept the blanket wrapped around himself. "It- it's more than just the act of- getting off...especially for a Lasat. It's about the chemical and hormonal reactions created between two partners." Taking it slowly, he made his way across the small space, something inside of him breaking to see Zeb laid so low, keening and struggling so desperately for release.

"I've been trying to calm him down...with the Force...but I'm not in much condition to help anyone," Kanan admitted in a helpless voice, his shoulders briefly hunching in misery. "I can't-"

"No," Alex interrupted in an uncharacteristically gentle tone as he reached out a hand to stroke the fur just behind Zeb's ear. The Lasat leaned into the touch with a wounded cry, struggling that much harder against his bonds. "It has to be me."

The negative reaction was loud and immediate.

"Kallus, no way," Kanan argued.

Hera finally opened her eyes and looked over at them in worry. "Alex, you're really not in any condition to-"

"Perhaps the complexities of organic humor escape me, but that truly does seem like a _bad joke_ ," K-2 put in.

Cassian shook his head as he surveyed the ex-agent. "You don't even know if you have all your proper limbs in place underneath that blanket and yet you're willing to walk right back into the krayt's lair? You must have _seriously_ hit your head back there."

"It _has_ to be me," he said again, slowly leaning down to press a kiss to one of his lover's bound hands. "We started something out there. I don't know what, but I have to finish it. He _needs_ me to. He will _die_ if I don't. I can't let that happen."

"And if _you_ die in the attempt?" Cassian asked him. "Right now you've not got anything worse than what a night in a bacta tank could heal, but we don't know what he might still be capable of in this state. For all we know, you could be one wrong thrust away from permanent damage."

"And...what is the point in my living...if he dies?" he asked all of them, recalling what Zeb had said to him earlier – about not being strong enough to live without him. The reverse was true for him.

"Oh...Alex..." Hera started in, not really seeming to know what to say.

"I cannot- live without him," he said haltingly. "It is...maudlin...overly sentimental to say these things; I have no doubt, but they are also true. I would continue the fight until it was done. My physical body could survive it, but...everything that makes me who and what I am...that rests with Garazeb Orrelios. My _heart_ would not survive his death. For me, there is no way but this. I _have_ to do it," he said, his attention focused on Zeb rather than any of them. "You all can leave if you want to, but I'm going to do this."

Cassian stared hard at him another moment before sighing and nodding. "You're either the bravest man I know...or the most foolish."

"Neither, really," he said, continuing his attempts to soothe the former guardsman with his gentle touches. "Just a man in love."

"Heh, right. Love," Cassian scoffed mildly. "We'll be outside, y'know, in case he breaks your spine."

K-2 followed Cassian as he headed out of the infirmary. As they made their way out, Kallus faintly noticed Kanan climbing to his feet, still cradling Hera in his arms. He wasn't sure how they managed to keep their blanket wrapped around themselves, but it stayed in place somehow.

"Kallus...I _wanna_ tell you what a bad idea this is...how _dangerous_ it is...but I know I can't stop you, so instead I'll just say thank you," Kanan said.

"You don't have to thank me for my love," Kallus returned with a pained swallow. "This is purely selfish on my part. I...I only hope it's enough."

"It will be," Hera said in as firm a voice as she could manage in her weakened state, looking up at him with unconditional warmth in her eyes. "Save him."

"I will do what I have to," he said with a nod before turning from them, barely hearing them go out. His attention was all for Zeb now.

"I'm so sorry, my love," he said softly as he ran a gentle hand along the Lasat's cheek. "This is _my_ doing. _I_ brought you to this. It was aimed at _me_ , not you, so _I'm_ the one who should pay for it...not you. I know I promised not to let you hurt me, but...nothing would hurt me worse than having to watch you die. I _cannot_ let that happen."

With that, Kallus steeled himself, taking his mind back to some of the earliest days of his ISB training – the training that covered resisting interrogation and torture.

_Pain is only pain. It is merely a warning from the body to avoid injury, but if it does not kill you, you can endure it. You can separate your mind from your body's experience of physical pain. Your body is an offering_ – _a_ _ **sacrifice**_ _. For your ultimate objective, your_ _ **mind**_ _is what must endure. Learn to cast aside the fleeting need of the body in favor of the dictates of the mind._

He had failed in that – failed to ignore the needs of his body. But he _wouldn't_ fail again. His first step was to reach between his legs and test his own readiness. It was painful, but it was nothing he couldn't endure. His love for Zeb was an altar he was perfectly willing to sacrifice his body upon. Zeb wouldn't be _happy_ about it, but at least he would be alive to be angry with him.

It was a struggle for him to climb on top of the Lasat's writhing body, but he managed it in the end, slowly lowering himself down onto Zeb's cock, still sticky from their earlier activities.

Zeb continued to move almost immediately, giving a strangely gentle growl. Kallus was hardly aware of it with the jolt of _agony_ that shot through his body before he could get hold of himself. Part of him wished he could just get his partner off with his mouth at this point, but he also knew there wasn't time to take the chance that it might not work. This had to be a full coupling. He wasn't sure how he knew. Maybe it was something Zeb had left in his mind after Kanan had smashed their memories together, or it was something that had come up in his own research. Either way, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Chava's began to explain things in his head as the pair of them continued to move together.

_The Claim. In the distant past, it was the way of all Lasat. It is not used much nowadays, but it is still bound within the blood of each child of Lasan. It is a simple enough ceremony. The two partners wishing to become one lay claim to each other. The Claim is sacred. The Claim is for life_ – _for all of time._

_But...what if he doesn't_ _ **want**_ _me for life?_ he asked within the darkness of his own mind, focusing on anything he could to distance himself from the pain. _What if this is just the drug talking?_ For him, there was no question. This was it for him. He wanted no one but Garazeb Orrelios...for all of time...but if Zeb didn't want _him_ like that...

_He claimed you, did he not? No drug could induce such a choice from a Lasat were the desire not already there. Garazeb has made his will known. The Claim has been made. All that remains is for you to claim him in kind. Make your Claim, Alexsandr Kallus._

"Hngh... _stars_...my Zeb," he gasped out, the small swell of joy in his heart briefly overshadowing the pain in his body. Then, without thought or hesitation, he repeated Zeb's single word from earlier. " _Nivsahn._ "

Zeb gave a long, relieved sigh, his powerful body briefly stilling beneath him. And when he looked up at Alex, though his eyes still held the wild, untamable spark of his primal drugged state, he was smiling at him.

" _An s'ahn,_ " he declared, completing what they'd begun before.

Alex wished he could say that the tears flowing down his face were purely from joy at that one word, but he also knew that his body was really just in that much pain. While he wasn't acknowledging it, his body had to release that pain in _some_ way. Zeb would come soon; he could feel it in the way his thrashing movements were becoming shorter, but it honestly felt like his body might just shake itself apart before the Lasat reached his final release.

_Come on,_ he urged himself through each movement, fighting to keep pace with Zeb to prevent further damage. _Just a bit more. Tef kas'aki maka._

Leaning forward a little ways to be closer to Zeb, he felt the blanket still at his shoulders slip down, pooling at their waists, keeping them only partly covered. Though the former guardsman was quickly approaching complete exhaustion, he still had the strength of a Lasat. The drive of his body into the ex-agent's was still overwhelmingly strong.

"Zeb...Zeb..." he groaned between movements. _Stars,_ he was so close to gone. "I don't- know if you can hear me...but... _please_...know that I love you. Never forget that. _L'ashkerrir an._ "

Then, finally reaching completion with a pained, exultant snarl, Zeb emptied into him with one last excruciating thrust, and it was then that Alex felt something inside of him _break._ Body contorting into a perfect arc above the Lasat's, he let out an agonized _scream_ before collapsing against his lover's chest.

The pain was _far_ too great to be blocked out. The line of torment ran the length of his spine, spidering outward to the rest of his nerves in lines of fire and lightning throughout his half-destroyed body.

For a long while, the only thing he knew was pain. But after what seemed like a long time to him, he gradually became aware of something else. It was a sound unlike anything he'd ever heard in his life – like the awful sound of some tortured creature shrieking in anguish, like the owner of the voice was being slowly gutted and burned alive – and just before he lost his hold on consciousness altogether, he realized what it was he was hearing.

That horrible, heartrending noise was the sound of Zeb.

Screaming.

XxX

At first, all he was aware of was drifting in a comforting, embracing warmth.

_What happened? Where am I?_

He didn't know, but after a time, voices began to work their way into his awareness, faint and sometimes garbled.

"I don't get it, Hera! Why won't you arrest me?"

"To arrest you suggests you were somehow responsible for what happened. You weren't. You were drugged. You're no less a victim here than Alex is."

Victim? Since when was he a victim? What was going on here?

" _Look!_ Just look, Hera! Look at what I've done to him."

_Zeb..._

"I can see, Zeb, and I heard what the medic said, too. He's going to recover. You didn't do anything that couldn't be undone."

"Karabast! How can you be so kriffing _calm_ about it?"

"We were there, too, Zeb," Kanan's voice joined in. "We understand what the two of you went through better than anybody else could hope to. _You_ didn't do this. The _Empire_ did."

"Ze-" he tried to call out, only to realize that his nose and mouth were covered by a breath mask. When he opened his eyes, he found his vision blurred by fluid.

Bacta. He was in the bacta tank, and he could just barely make out the indistinct figures of Zeb, Hera, Kanan, and Chopper beyond the glass.

"I _could've_ _killed him!_ " Zeb shouted, sounding on the verge of breaking down.

_Oh...Zeb. Please...I'm still here._

"But you _didn't_ ," Kanan returned, voice just as calm. Struggling to coordinate his body enough, Alex slowly started to lift his hand through the fluid.

"Fine!" the Lasat snapped. "Doesn't matter anyway. I'm not gonna _give_ myself another chance to hurt him. I'm-"

"Zeb," Hera interrupted him. "Look."

He saw Zeb's large purple frame whirl around to catch a glimpse of him. Alex couldn't completely make out his features, but he thought he could see a kind of relieved worry.

"Alex!" he called out, the sound of his own name the only thing to come clearly through the thick press of the bacta. The Lasat raised his hand to the glass, but just as Alex was bringing his own hand up to rest against his through the smooth material, his hold on consciousness began to slip once more. His hand slipped from the glass and his eyes fluttered closed, the last thing to drift through his awareness the sound of Zeb crying out his name.

_Zeb...Zeb...Zeb...what have I done to you?_

XxX

The next time Alex regained consciousness, Zeb was alone in the room with him. Wanting to be certain he wasn't going to check out on his partner this time, he held still a few minutes to be sure he was really awake, all the while surveying the Lasat.

Zeb sat beside the bacta tank, body hunched over in misery. Alex couldn't fully make it out, but he thought he might be hearing his lover reciting something in Lasana. Some sort of...prayer?

" _Ashla silir an...Ashla rever an..._ "

_Ashla save you...Ashla hold you..._

Praying? His sarcastic, hard as duracrete lover was _praying?_

_May your Ashla punish me for the pain I've caused you._

For a moment, just a moment, he didn't let himself knock on the glass. He took in every tortured line of Zeb's body like a physical blow. The fact that he was in a bacta tank said that he'd already suffered a great deal of pain, and he _remembered_ that pain like a fading nightmare; but, even so, to see the way _his suffering_ had so greatly harmed his love... _this_ was worse than any pain that had come before it. He had _vowed_ not to hurt Zeb any worse than he already had...and now _this._

But before he could convince himself to withdraw from the Lasat entirely, to run away as he had after Bahryn, he reached up and knocked on the glass. Running away wouldn't solve anything. In a way, he'd been running since Lasan...since Onderon, even. He wasn't going to let their injured love be yet one more thing he ran away from.

Zeb glanced up sharply at the sound of his fist rapping against the glass. In only half a second, he was on his feet before the tank, a trembling, four-fingered hand pressing against the transparent surface. Alex slowly let his clenched fist loosen, fingers pressing against Zeb's through the glass as he smiled at him, even though he knew only part of the expression would be visible while he still wore the breath mask.

For a moment, he saw Zeb's tender, relieved smile through the bacta and the glass. Stars, what he wouldn't give to hold him right now. But just as quickly, he saw that same beloved expression fracture, splintering into something guilt-ridden and self-loathing. Then his fingers curled into a fist before falling away from the glass entirely. Shaking his head, the Lasat slowly started to back away from the tank. Feeling suddenly desperate, Alex brought both hands up against the clear barrier that separated him from his partner.

"I love you," Zeb started. Even though Alex couldn't hear him clearly, he could still see his lips forming the words. He knew exactly what this was. He could see it in every taut line of the former guardsman's body.

He was saying goodbye.

He was going to run.

_Zeb...please...don't do this._

" _L'ashkerrir an. Val Ashla, L'ashkerrir an...sav k'san_ _ **nivsahn**_ _...gal...zalv areh rrazeha La garrir, La sylf_ _ **orror**_ _veryt an jital,_ " he vowed in a heavy voice, and unless Alex's eyes were beyond all hope in this bacta, those were tears on his cheeks.

_Zeb...no._

He pleaded silently as best he could, begging the Lasat not to leave with the desperation in his eyes. But Zeb only shook his head one more time. Then he was gone.

"Zeb! _NO!_ " Alex attempted to shout through the breath mask, pounding on the glass with both fists. He honestly might've tried to shatter the tank outright had the unit's lid not suddenly been pulled back and his body raised from the healing fluid. Almost immediately, he was yanking the mask from his face, struggling to blink the bacta from his eyes.

When he could finally see and breathe properly, it was to find that Kanan, Ezra, Sabine, and Cassian had helped him from the tank.

"Where- where is he?" he coughed out, looking around at all of them.

"He's leaving," Sabine said with a clear note of worry in her voice.

"He was only sticking around long enough to make sure _you_ were okay," Ezra told him.

"You're the only one who can talk some sense into him, Alexsandr. Go after him," Kanan said.

Before he'd even finished speaking, Alex was gone, tearing out of the makeshift med center and out into the temple, taking every shortcut he knew to head Zeb off. For years to come, rebels would tell stories about the day Captain Kallus ran through the base in nothing but a pair of black undershorts, but he was _far_ from aware of all the attention he was drawing to himself. All he cared about in that moment was getting to Zeb. If he let him go now, if he let him disappear like this, something in his heart _knew_ he would never see him again.

_Zeb...please...you_ _**can't leave me.** _

Alex rushed out of a supply corridor to spot Zeb heading through the outer hangar. Just outside, on the launch field, he could see Hera and Chopper arguing with the captain of one of the supply ships that was prepping for departure.

Alexsandr Kallus wasn't going to beg. He had seen the look in Zeb's eyes. The Lasat wasn't going to be moved by pleas or prayers. He had righteous self-hatred on his side. He thought he was doing something _honorable_ here. Well, Alex would just have to disabuse him of that notion and quickly. Grabbing a blaster off a passing soldier, he quickly flipped its setting to stun.

" _Garazeb Orrelios!_ " he snarled before firing a warning shot at the floor not half a meter from Zeb's feet. " _FACE ME!_ "

To his credit, Zeb didn't even flinch away from the shot. He glanced over his shoulder, eyes wide in a look that was half-anger and half-resignation. But then he shook his head and faced away from Alex, although he seemed to have enough sense not to keep walking.

" _They_ let you out, didn't they," he said, his strangely quiet tone echoing eerily off every surface in the suddenly silent hangar. "You're _really_ not supposed to be movin' around yet."

"Why are you leaving me?" Alex demanded, not even dignifying the accusation with a response, but he also didn't move any closer for fear of breaking the tenuous hold he had over the Lasat in this moment.

"Look at your arms," Zeb said, still not looking back at him. Alex did so, taking in what he already knew was there – the long, barely-healed scars from where Zeb had gouged at his skin with his claws. The thin lines of scar tissue continued down his sides and on beneath the undershorts and probably other places he couldn't see, which Zeb shortly confirmed. "There's worse you can't see on your back and neck."

"I am a soldier, Garazeb," he pointed out, fingers trailing up his chest to the old set of scars beneath the bite marks Zeb had left – his first true battle scars. "You were not even the first Lasat to mark my skin. Nor do I imagine you will be the last being to scar me. I am no delicate flower, Captain Orrelios."

"I _broke your back!_ " Zeb snarled at him, finally turning partly in his direction. "Did they tell you that? I _literally_ broke your back. It wasn't- spinal cord damage or anythin'. They could repair it, but I fucked you so hard I _actually_ fractured some of the bones in your spine."

"You know...most lovers might consider that an accomplishment," Alex couldn't quite help joking.

" _Alex-_ " Zeb started to growl, properly turning to face him.

"I know. I'm sorry. That was in poor taste, but is this a lack of faith in yourself or in me? Have I not proven my ability to take anything you can give?" he pressed, taking a few steps forward.

"Have you? If you hadn't worn me down the way you did, you'd be _dead_ right now. Can you imagine what I could do to you at full strength?"

"Well, that was rather the _point_ , wasn't it? To wear you down to a point where you _couldn't_ have killed me? It isn't all about physical prowess, _ni_ _ **alitha**_ ," he said pointedly.

A look of uncertainty took up residence on Zeb's face at that, like what Alex was saying might actually be getting through to him, but then he shook his head again, looking down at his feet before continuing to speak.

"Listen, I'm not gonna draw this out. I want you to be safe. The best way to do that is to just remove myself from the holo."

"Aside from that being utter foolishness...this is your _family_ , Zeb. Are you really going to walk out on them?"

"Not protectin' them any less than I'm protectin' you. I can still help the Rebellion, just- not from a place in your immediate vicinity."

"Where's your bo-rifle?" Alex pressed. "Somehow, I don't see you going out to punch the galaxy without the one weapon that defines your existence."

Zeb groaned in frustration, scratching at the back of his head. "Yeah...'bout that...I left it in our bunk on the _Ghost_. I want you to have it...since you're _clearly_ the better warrior."

"No, no, _no, NO, NO!_ " Alex snapped out, still moving slowly as he approached his lover. "I am _not_ about to accept a bo-rifle I have _not_ earned from a member of the Lasan High Honor Guard! It would _shame_ me to accept it and well you know it, Garazeb. Were you honestly not going to talk to me about _any_ of this? Were you just going to run away and leave me behind? Marry me then abandon me? Is that _truly_ the sort you are, _Captain_ Orrelios?" he demanded as he finally came to stand before his partner in every possible sense of the word. Though he wasn't sure what they'd done _quite_ constituted a marriage, he felt that it was near enough – that that was what the Claiming meant to Zeb.

"Hrgh, karabast. That- you're not bound by that, Kal. That's- it's ancient Lasat tradition. It's my own hangup. I'll honor what I've spoke to my dyin' breath, but I can't go holdin' _you_ to somethin' that was said in the heat of the moment."

"Then what happens if I _meant it?_ "

"I- wha?" Zeb started, voice falling off into nothing when he heard what Alex had actually said.

"That's right, Zeb," he continued, reaching a hand up to roughly grip the side of the Lasat's face. "You don't get to decide if I meant something or not. I meant what I said, in that room and on the _Ghost_... _sav k'san nivsahn_...that which is mine," he repeated in his own language, tension easing mildly when Zeb leaned into his touch. "It's a little self-defeating, I think, that you made a vow just now never to harm me again...when the thing that would harm me most of all is to lose you."

Zeb shook his head, blinking back fresh tears as he took a step back from Alex. "No...no...Alex...you didn't _see_ it," he mumbled helplessly.

"Didn't see what?" he asked, not daring to follow his partner's retreat.

"Didn't see the way you just- went stiff...or hear how you _screamed_...see how you collapsed...just lay there on top of me like you were _already dead._ I really- don't know what kept me from losin' my mind. I _almost killed you,_ " he choked out, shoulders trembling in misery as he turned away from Alex altogether; and as he watched Zeb just stand there, struggling not to fall apart, Alex felt something horrible and heavy weighing on his heart. He had _sworn_ not to let himself become the object of Zeb's pain ever again, but it seemed that all he could do was hurt the Lasat. There were many things he _could_ say in this moment, but there was only one thing that might make Zeb even _think_ about staying.

"Eleven times," he said softly as he moved to stand just behind Zeb, reaching a hand forward to grip at his massive shoulder.

"W- what?" Zeb mumbled uncomprehendingly.

"I've gone over each scenario a dozen times, ever since our very first confrontation on Lothal, and the number of times I faced you directly or had you in a position to ensure your death somehow...totals eleven. Eleven times before we crashed on Bahryn...that I could've killed you. I could have so easily taken your life without ever even knowing how truly wonderful you are- or how _desperately_ my heart could love you. I see those moments in my nightmares...and I see how _easily_ I could've killed you...and in so doing, killed us both. If you think that notion doesn't keep me awake at night..." he whispered, voice gradually trailing off into nothing as he curled both hands into the velvety fur at Zeb's shoulders, ultimately letting his forehead rest against the Lasat's back.

"If anyone should leave, it's _me_ ," he continued in the same painfully soft voice after several minutes. " _I'm_ the outsider here. I _promised_ not to let this happen and I couldn't even do that. I failed you. Is this- my punishment for that failure? To once again be responsible for driving you from your home...and to live without you?" he asked, feeling tears prick at his eyes as he clung to Zeb.

"Alex-" he started in a heavy voice, a heaving shudder running through his body.

"Is this the kind of pain that I caused you?" he suddenly found himself asking as the tears began to pour freely down his face. "This feeling that you've broken everything that matters? That you could never hope to put the pieces back together? That you're just a waste of a sentient being because you can't even protect the one thing that's most important to you?"

"Karabast," Zeb growled again, the higher pitch of it betraying the tears streaming silently down his own face. Alex didn't have a chance to see them when he spun back around though, because he was caught up in the Lasat's embrace. He could feel the warm wetness of Zeb's tears against his cheeks as they kissed. He clung to the former guardsman even more tightly than he had before for fear that if he let go he really would lose him.

"Don't you _dare_ leave me, Zeb," he hissed sharply against his lover's lips, immersing himself in the press of the Lasat's body against his. "I am trained to withstand torture. There is much I could bear...but I _could not_ bear that. If you- didn't want me anymore...I would accept it, but don't say you're leaving to _protect_ me. I _cannot_ accept that."

"Don't even _say_ things like that. Not want you," Zeb scoffed, running his fingers intently through Alex's loose hair. "'s like- not wantin' _air_ to breathe."

"Yes...that's _exactly_ what it's like," Alex agreed, looking up at Zeb while still holding tightly to him. "And you were going to deprive me of that same air. Neither of us is ever going to be completely safe. We just have to be strong enough to _trust_ one another. Can you do that?"

Alex could name any number of the hundred emotions he saw move across his beloved's face in that moment – joy, pain, relief, fear, need, anger, acceptance, despair, but chief among them all was love, Zeb's love for him. And even though his answer wasn't a yes, it was at least a willingness to come to a yes.

" _La san ber astyr rokat La san boktel._ "

_I am strong enough to know I am weak._

It was part of Honor Guard teachings, a statement made by every young initiate upon being accepted to train with the Guard. It was an admission of one's own limitations, a willingness to learn and to be humbled. Zeb didn't trust himself yet, but he felt that he _could_ with time.

"Thank you, my love," the ex-Imperial whispered, drawing him down for one last relieved kiss. But then he was calling over Zeb's shoulder, "Sorry, Captain Syndulla, but there's going to be a bit of a change in crew assignments. I need this fool-headed Lasat to cuddle me for about a week."

"Reassignment granted," the Twi'lek's voice came back to him with an amused air. "I don't know that I can get you a whole week, but we'll see what we can do."

"Good," Alex said, more for Zeb than for anyone else, snuggling as close to him as he could manage.

"Though," Zeb started in, "we might wanna look at gettin' you back in some proper clothes. You're still standin' just about naked on the launch field."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," he returned, smirking in relief against the Lasat's chest, only partly teasing.

" _L'ashkerrir an_ , _Alexsandr,_ " Zeb whispered into his hair, holding him tightly, though not as tightly as Alex knew he was able to. It would take some time to get back to that. " _Maka zei lira ashvyri sel lira nalmari, L'ashkerrir an._ "

"I love you, too," he returned just as softly in Basic, wondering if the other Spectres knew what a warrior poet Zeb could be in his own language, or if it was maybe something that was just for him. "More than I could have ever dreamed possible...I _love you,_ Garazeb."

They weren't all right. After what they'd lived through, it wasn't possible to be completely all right. But they would have a chance to be. In the end, neither of them had been conquered. Nearly broken, yes, but through that they had found the strength to come closer together.

The Empire could do its kriffing worst. The two of them were not going to be beaten.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So would somebody mind explaining to me how I managed to write a sex pollen fic that involves the Jedi Code? 'Cuz I'm still not totally sure how that happened.
> 
> Aaaaand I think I'm officially putting a little too much thought into this made up language I seem to be creating for my fanfic. I think I translated most of the Lasana in context, but just in case I missed anything, I'll go ahead and lay some translations down for you.
> 
> Ni alitha - my darling (lit. my sparring partner) This one first made an appearance over in my other Rebels fic, The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring, and Zeb explained it all pretty well, but those are the basics of the meaning.
> 
> Ashla alkyrreh - Ashla have mercy
> 
> Ze ze - Hush, shh
> 
> L'ashkerrir an - I love you
> 
> Tef kas'aki maka - Just a little bit more
> 
> Nivsahn - Mine
> 
> An s'ahn - Yours
> 
> Ni ashkerra - My love
> 
> Na lithir'a - Fuck me
> 
> Ashla silir an...Ashla rever an - Ashla save you...Ashla hold you
> 
> Val Ashla, L'ashkerrir an...sav k'san nitsahn...gal...zalv areh rrazeha La garrir, La sylf orror veryt an jital - By the Ashla, I love you...that which is mine...and...upon her holy name I vow, I will never harm you again
> 
> La san ber astyr rokat La san boktel - I am strong enough to know I am weak
> 
> Maka zei lira ashvyri sel lira nalmari - More than all the stars in all the heavens
> 
> Okay, pretty sure that's everything. Thank you for sticking with it all the way through; I very much hope you enjoyed my little tale. :)


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